sammi says

Technology is pretty great. I am amazed at some of the stuff that people come up with and actually make function. But every so often I find myself thinking that something super simple could be done to improve said technology. Here are my ideas.

Sometimes I don't know what music I feel like listening to for day. I find myself resorting to the shuffle function on my iPod. Now, I have a lot of beef with the shuffle feature and how it decides what songs to play (see ***), but that's a whole other story. Anywho, when by chance it does bring up something interesting that feels right you have to go through about 5 different steps (including scrolling to through albums and artists) to get to the album the song is on or the artist who made it...Not the best idea when you're driving. Why isn't there a feature that lets you click a button when you're in the shuffle function and displays that artist's albums? That way you could just click a button scroll through a limited number of albums and songs until you find exactly what you're looking for.

Next on the list of things to make better is Twitter. I am completely obsessed with Twitter. While personally I don't "tweet" very often I love reading my twitter feed. It really is an amazing way to get information. While I subscribe to the personal Twitter feeds of celebrities like John Mayer, "The Office" writer and actress Mindy Kaling and a few friends but what I love the most are the feeds from places like E! and the Riverfront Times giving all the latest updates in a short, concise manner.

When I come home from work in the afternoon and sit down and check Twitter I have to scroll down several pages to find where I left off last (usually the previous evening) and read from the bottom to the top as to not miss any information. What Twitter should offer is a function to type in a time and date and then post all tweets since that time and allow you to switch the order to display the oldest at the top of the page and the most recent towards the bottom. Ok, this sounds like I am a Twitter freak to read every bit of information but if you don't use twitter you don't understand- reading an entire days worth of tweets from the 58 people/websites I follow at most takes about 15 minutes. Twitter makes it so easy for me to get a lot of information in a small amount of time but they could make it even easier if they developed my idea.

These changes are good ideas and would seriously take some computer genius only a couple of hours to make available to the world. Be sure to read below for my unrelated rant about iTunes Shuffle.


***How the hell does the shuffle even work? I want to know what it's thinking when it decides to play basically all the shittiest songs on my iPod one right after another. I have what some may say is an interesting taste in music which sometimes means I have live bootleg audio of Broadway shows in my library and shuffle decides to play a dialogue scene from "Wicked," and when you skip it then next song up to bat is an obscure tune from a imported German Backstreet Boys album. Using shuffle when in the presence of friends is a bad idea, at least with my iTunes library. I know it is just a machine but it really has a knack for playing the most annoying songs on my iPod.

If you haven't already heard John Mayer's new single, "Who Says," off the highly anticipated album, "Battle Studies," go here and have a listen.


Upon first listen I was a little confused and in disbelief that this is the single. I can't imagine hearing this on the radio. I can't imagine radio stations playing a song with the opening line, "Who says I can't get stoned?" It's not that I didn't like the song, but it was not what I was expecting. I was expecting a radio-friendly jingle. John Mayer's record company is notorious for picking the cheesiest song on his album and making them into mass-marketable singles that play over Hallmark commercials (i.e. "Your Body is a Wonderland," "Daughters," "Say" etc...). It's not that I don't like these songs, but true Mayer fans know that the really good stuff is on the album.

Ok, so the first listen was out of the way and I played it on a loop for a good 15 minutes (ok, 15 minutes=all day, who am I kidding?) and my thoughts began to wander while listening to the lyrics. I went to JM's Battle Studies website and re-watched his series of videos documenting the making of this album and it all seemed to click. Listening to the lyrics I feel like I know exactly what he's going through. JM has made no secret of his disdain for the "womanizing douchebag" status the tabloids and gossip blogs give him. He hates his reputation and is really sensitive about the grief he gets over it.

He took to his twitter last May saying, "I love how some dudes hate me for dating their fantasy girl, as if they were going to if I hadn’t. Showbiz types’ are people who grew up talking to themselves alone in a room for hours until they found some sort of outlet. Once they found that outlet, everything fell into place, except for the fact that they still never worked out why they still talk so much. So you see, though filled with deep emotional voids that can never be filled, Showbiz Types are an important part of our Nation’s tapestry. I’m a Showbiz Type. (cue penny whistle and marching drums) But I am not a douche!!"

I feel like this song is in response to our quickness to define him by this reputation rather than enjoy his music. Kind of like a big "F-you" to the haters. I applaud his record company for letting him take chances with this single and the album as a whole. John was given the freedom on this album to build a recording studio in his house and take his time to create a record completely different from his super-successful 2006 album, "Continuum." In Battle Studies video two, John says, "How do I follow 'Continuum?' We just say, you don't follow it at all. You just leave it. And you step to the side and you begin something completely new." And this is something completely new, something we haven't heard from him yet. I am excited about the possibilities of this record. The song "Who Says," seems like a totally folky chant that will be fun to sing along with in concert.

One of the most interesting verses in the song says,
"Who says I can't get stoned?
Plan a trip to Japan alone
Doesn't matter if I even go
Who says I can't get stoned?"

Which is funny, because John Mayer did just that and made a really beautiful video documenting his experience. Here's his description of the video, "Seven songs in... lots going on. Took a week off and traveled Japan. Wanted to get really quiet so I could hear what my head was saying. Two words of advice: travel alone. Music via an 8am jetlag pop-awake and Native Instruments Acoustik Piano. I took a break from still photography and used a Panasonic HVX200 HD camera. I stayed still, let life move in front of me. Man, am I deep!"



"Battle Studies," comes out November 17 and "Who Says," will probably be available on iTunes in the next couple of weeks. Do you like the song? Hate John Mayer? Leave comments!

I mentioned it two weeks ago, but I'll say it again....There was simply not enough Russell Brand in the MTV Video Music Awards. I really gained respect for Brand over the summer when I read his auto-biography, "My Booky Wook." What can I say about this book? It's not for children, that's for sure. It made for very entertaining beach reading. I would be cracking up while reading and my family would ask what was so funny, how was I suppose to respond? "Well mom, Russell just can't pass up a good orgy," and then go on to explain his hilarious anecdotes about the creepiest orgy's he's ever attended?

Brand is only in his mid-thirties, but it's safe to say he's led a very interesting life. He details his experiences with his estranged father, his various television shows in England, his firings from those TV shows, his out of control drug use, rehabilitation, crazy sex exploits, rehabilitation and his infinite wisdom on enjoying life. I mean that last part, Brand is actually very existential and philosophical. While reading the book it's best to imagine Russell speaking to you in his accent and telling the stories with his eccentric mannerisms.

Since I was upset about the lack of Brand on MTV, I netflixed his comedy special, "Russell Brand in New York City," which he filmed after his VMA hosting duties last year. His set is only an hour long so there is really no reason not to watch it. I thought the first 35 minutes were really solid and funny. The end started to sink a little, but funny nonetheless. I actually preferred one of his stand-up shows taped in England, "Russell Brand, Doing Life," which I watched in seven parts on youtube. Here's the first video which will link to all seven parts.



If you like Russell Brand you need to see him do some real stand up and screw the VMA's.

For the first time in a long time, I felt like last night's Emmy Awards were a well-produced, fast paced award show. It could have to do with the fact that I watched it 3 hours after it aired and was able to speed through the commercials or it could have to do with the fact that Neil Patrick Harris kicked butt as host. There weren't any awkward skits or montages. Everything they put together had a purpose and moved the show right a long.

Here are my thoughts that I jotted down throughout the show.

I love Kristin Chenoweth! She won Best Supporting Actress for a Comedy Series for "Pushing Daisies," and man did she lose it on stage. She could barely hold it together. I found out today that she actually had to be treated by a medic last night for a terrible migraine.

Jack McBrayer and Rainn Wilson were robbed for Best Supporting Actor. I feel like Jon Cryer has won before. I would have really have loved to hear a Jack McBrayer acceptance speech.

Justin Timberlake looked like a big nerd in glasses. They were way too wide for his face. I think it's funny that they moved the award he was nominated for to the main show (instead of the Creative Arts Emmy's that took place last week) so that he could appear, and he didn't even win.


I'm so, so happy for Toni Collette and her win for Best Actress in a Comedy Series for "United States of Tara." If you've seen the show you know how amazingly talented she is being able to pull off the characters she plays. She looked beautiful, the dress was a perfect color for her hair and skin.

Blake Lively and Leighton Meester from "Gossip Girl," presented an award together and they both looked pretty bad. Blake was showing waaaayyy too much boob. It was embarrassing. Leighton Meester looked very pale in white. Not a great look. Her dress kind of looked like Bjork's swan dress.

Why did the guys in Best Actor in a Comedy Series get clips played of them when the ladies nominated for Best Leading Actress were only shown sitting in the audience?? And again, I feel like Alec Baldwin was kind of the obvious winner, I wished Steve Carrell had won.

Time after time winners kept thanking "The Academy" it's the Emmy's, not the Oscars!

I'm over the Kanye jokes.

Yay for Jessica Lange. I wanted her or Drew Barrymore to win for their amazing performances in "Grey Gardens." It really was a great movie. Also, interesting to notice that Drew's Emmy date is her ex-boyfriend, Justin Long, aka the Mac Guy. Which reminds me to give a shout out to the PC Guy, John Hodgman, who gave what they called color commentary while the winners walked to stage. I thought he was pretty funny and it was a nice modern touch to the show.

I was absolutely torn between Aaron Paul in "Breaking Bad" and Michael Emerson from "Lost" for Best Supporting Actor in a Drama. "Breaking Bad" is without a doubt the most intense television show I've ever watched and Aaron Paul is so good it's scary. But of course my heart lies with "Lost."

Seriously, Sarah McLachlan? Does she do anything else but sing utterly depressing songs? I felt her singing "I Will Remember You" was cheesy and overdone and uncalled for. They couldn't have had the live band come up with anything nice to play?

Bryan Cranston for the win! Best Actor in a Drama Series, that is...I could not be more thrilled! His portrayal of the dying-father-turned-drug-dealer, Walter White is the most emotionally moving acting I have ever seen. This show is so outrageous and intense and I recommend you go watch it right now.

I kind of hoped for an upset for Best Comedy Series. I believe that "30 Rock" is deserving but it would have been nice to hear from "Weeds," "The Office," or even "Family Guy" (which I don't think is deserving, but certainly would have been interesting).

Again, I would have loved an upset for Best Drama Series. I tried to get into "Mad Men," but was utterly bored and never made it through the first episode. I would have loved to have seen "Lost," win of course or "Breaking Bad." "Lost" only has one year left to win!

Go here for the complete list of winners and here for the red carpet fashions.

Friday night I saw, "The Informant!" directed by Steven Soderbergh and starring Matt Damon. I can't really explain why I wanted to see such a film on opening night but I thought the previews made it look funny and perhaps I fell into the trap of Joel McHale's self promotion on "The Soup," every week. Turns out, McHale's part isn't very big and is actually pretty serious.

If you're not aware, this movie is based on the true story of Mark "Corky" Whitacre (Damon), a corporate executive at a lysine (some sort of corn product) plant, ADM, in Decatur, Illinois, who rats out his entire company for being a part of an international price fixing scheme. I'd be lying if I said I understood all the business lingo and intricacies this plot deals with, but there were only a few parts that I had "Huh?" moments. The heart of the story is not about the actual crime itself but how Whitacre deals with the FBI, his co-workers and family through his years of undercover work in the 1990's.

Throughout all of these horribly dry business situations we're able to hear Whitacre's inner-dialogue which makes the movie. He quips lines about little anecdotes he's heard before or when meeting the FBI agent (played by Scott Bakula) how he thinks that they could probably be friends and go fishing together. Whitacre is portrayed as this lovable, well educated, family-man good guy, but as the movie goes on we learn that he is a compulsive liar among many other less-than desirable things.

This film is very subtle in its humor and is very dry. It kept me interested through all 108 minutes, but it probably isn't for everyone. Leaving the theatre, I could hear a group of 20-somethings in front of us complaining about how boring the film was and how one of them fell asleep. I don't know if they just didn't know what they were getting into, or what. Heaven forbid you see a comedy that has a little bit of meat behind it. There are also small parts played by comedians like Patton Oswald and Tony Hale if that makes you more interested. I thought Damon was fantastic and funny and I'd recommend the movie to a friend.

This past Thursday evening I sat down to watch what felt like a million hours of television. Here's what was on my schedule....

I started off the evening with "The Office." This episode, "Gossip," was everything I had been missing from TV all summer. From the opening sequences of Michael, Dwight and Andy trying their hand at parkour, to finding out Stanley is a cheating whore, Jim and Pam being as cute as ever and Andy questioning his sexuality. "The Office" has not lost any steam since last year's comeback season. I almost cried from laughing too hard during this scene where Kevin confronts Andy about the rumors he's heard about his sexuality.



Next, was the premiere of "Community." I'm still undecided about this show. I love Joel McHale but the pilot didn't give me the haha feelings I expected. It could be because it had to spend too much time establishing characters and situations. I'm not giving up but I wasn't thrilled. Oh, and why was Joel wearing a sweater and a blazer with adidas track pants?

After "Community" it was time for "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." It did not disappoint. Is it just me or was Dee looking a little haggard? Regardless, I loved her scenes meeting with the couple who wanted to use her as a surrogate.

"Project Runway," was somewhat exciting with an interesting challenge to create an outfit completely out of newspaper. I was disappointed when Irina won, I thought her trench coat looked like something made for Cruella Deville. My favorites were Chris, Carol-Hannah, and Althea's designs. The whole Johnny lying situation was laughable but totally blown out of proportion. "Models of the Runway," is still dumb and I don't know why I'm still watching it.

Then came the much hyped episode of "Chelsea Lately" with Jennifer Aniston as her guest. Chelsea always defends Aniston like crazy and so I was thinking this was going to be a really interesting interview with Chelsea making Jen squirm by bringing up some dirt. It didn't happen. It was interesting to see how Chelsea reacted to an A-list celebrity on her show, but it was the same interview Jen's been giving all of town this week.

Finally, John Mayer tweeted Thursday afternoon that he would be appearing on "Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory" that evening. I knew Rob and John were friends so I of course had to tune in. Wow. This episode exceeded my expectations. It was basically the behind-the-scenes look at the paparazzi stunts these two have pulled in the past and how much they upset Rob's mom (see drunk Rob and classy gents). These two are a hilarious pair and the episode was great. It ended up with the two recording a song for Rob's mom to apologize for embarrassing her.


You should probably just youtube "Rob's Mom" for the full version of the song and other funny clips of the show. Or just watch the full episode next time it airs on MTV which I'm sure it will be rerun a thousand times.

Last night I was watching the most recent episode of "Kourtney & Khloe' Take Miami" on E! and there was some sort of confrontation between employees at Dash, the boutique owned by the Kardashian sisters. Kourtney put a halt to the drama saying that she didn't want to discuss the issue in front of customers.....pan out to the completely empty store. It got me thinking, I don't think I've ever seen customers in Dash. Not even the Calabasas, CA location seen on "Keeping Up With the Kardashians." They always show the girls in the shop working and chatting but the store is always empty. I realize that these reality shows aren't exactly shooting the real, day-to-day activities of their subjects, but even if it's a set up shot with a call time for the sisters, don't you think they'd hire some extras to make the store look popular?

On another note, later in the episode Kourtney hooks up with her ex-boyfriend, Scott. There was an awkward scene at the end of the show where Kourtney and Khloe' are strolling down the beach and Khloe' asks Kourtney if she and Scott used protection to which the answer was of course, "No." In real life Kourtney is pregnant with Scott's child and I can't help but think that scene was shot in Los Angeles months after the show wrapped to make things more interesting. Anyone else agree?

Oh, I am aware that I'm crazy for expecting some kind of integrity out of these types of shows.

I wasn't exactly thrilled with the announcement last week that Ellen Degeneres would be replacing Paula Abdul as a judge on "American Idol." While I don't watch "American Idol," I do watch "The Ellen Degeneres Show" and am generally an all-around Ellen fan. So why do I care that Ellen has picked up a second job? I feel like it's going to become too much a part of her daytime show. In previous seasons, Ellen featured all the "Idol" cast-offs each week and gave recaps of the show. It's already too much "Idol" for my liking and I speed through it. Now with Ellen on the show I can only imagine there's going to be much, much more talk of "Idol," which means more work fast forwarding and paying attention for me. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I do a thousand things at once and when I playback talk shows they don't always have my full attention. It makes watching TV feel not as fun when I have to be picky about my content.

Ellen is widely beloved and you rarely hear a bad word against her. The only criticism I've heard is from my 85-year-old grandpa who told me he didn't like her because she "has short hair and wears keds." I think Ellen being a part of both shows is going to wear thin on people and probably make her less likable, which I don't want to see happen.

Here's a funny clip of Ellen's staff members trying to scare her, but my all time favorite Ellen moment comes at 1:35 with Steve Carrell.

It's safe to say that last nights MTV Video Music Awards was the best VMA's in a long, long time. The performances seriously made the show amazing. I don't think I've seen so many great performances packed into one show before. I can honestly say that I thought everyone did amazing. I really don't remember who won what award but I know I was thoroughly entertained.
(click on pictures to see larger versions)

Here's the Good....

You've heard me say it before but I love Gaga. Yes, she's really, really strange, but you can't tell me she didn't sound amazing during her performance of "Paparazzi". While it was a strange performance, it was visually interesting and had me cracking up at the end when she was covered in blood. I also have to say her several costume changes throughout the show gave me a real kick.

Pink's acrobatic performance kicked ass but I couldn't help but notice her costume's resemblance to Lil Kim's VMA getup circa 1999.



Pink does not get enough respect for her amazing voice. I find her songs a little annoying after a couple weeks on the radio, but girl can sing.
Here's the video of her performance of "Sober."

Taylor Swift's performance of "You Belong With Me," was adorable. Nobody has really been talking about it, preferring to talk about the more dramatic portion of the evening. She performed on the subway and then ran out into the street in front of Radio City Music Hall. I can only assume the subway portion was pretaped, but exciting nonetheless.

Beyonce's "Single Ladies," was certainly a crowd pleaser and I expected nothing less.

Here's the iffy.....


The Michael Jackson tribute started off the show and I couldn't help but think Madonna's speech seemed a little off, I respect the sentiment and story she told but I can help but thinking it was not the right way to start off the show. The dancing portion was awesome. I really enjoyed it. Janet's portion was really the most hyped of the evening and I thought it fell flat. I felt more confused when I heard her prerecorded vocals than impressed or moved.

Green Day was ok. For some reason it just wasn't very memorable for me.

I was confused during Katy Perry's performance with Joe Perry. It was short and felt out of place. I thought she sounded pretty good considering the other times I've heard her sing live she sounds god-awful.

Here's the bad...

I won't go into very much detail because you've already heard all about it but Kanye West's interruption of Taylor Swift's acceptance speech was horrible. I felt terrible for Taylor and Beyonce, who looked absolutely mortified. Katy Perry pretty much summed up my feelings on her twitter, "F*CK U KANYE. IT'S LIKE U STEPPED 0N A KITTEN."

Kristen Stewart's hairdo was pretty bad. I found out today it wasn't cut that short but just pinned up to hide her Joan Jett mullet she's been sporting for the filmingof the biopic "The Runaways." I thought her dress and shoes looked great but the hair missed the mark. *On a side note, Robert Pattinson looked mega hot and man-child Taylor Lautner looked pretty good too.*

And the worst part of the night- Not enough Russell Brand! I felt like he was almost never on stage. I wished we would have seen much, much more of him.

(Info, pictures, and videos from mtv.com, usatoday.com and perezhilton.com)

It's been a long summer with my TiVo a little too empty for my liking. I'm so glad it's time for fall TV. Here's what I'm looking forward to most.

Glee (Fox Wednesday 8pm)- "Glee" already premiered last week, but I had been looking forward to seeing this show since they previewed the pilot last spring. I'm a big fan of musicals making me the target audience. It takes a certain type of person to allow for the suspension of disbelief especially when dealing with high schoolers who look too old, breaking into song in the middle of class and fully produced musical fantasy numbers. The show is incredibly cheesy, which is exactly what is working best for it. The show is full of amazing talent like Lea Michelle and Amber Riley, not to mention Jane Lynch in a hilarious supporting role.

The Office (NBC Thursday 8pm/Sept. 17)- "The Office" returns for its sixth season this Thursday making all of us Jim and Pam fans very happy. I hear that they get right down to business with their wedding plans before Pam starts showing her pregnancy. I have really high hopes for this season. Last season it felt like the show was rejuvenated with the Michael Scott Paper Company. It proved that Michael is not a complete idiot and perhaps that he gained a little respect from his employees.

Community (NBC Thursday 8:30pm/Sept. 17)- "Community" stars Joel McHale as a cocky lawyer who faked his degree and now is headed back to community college. I love Joel McHale- for those of you who don't recognize his name, he is the hilarious host of "The Soup" on E! I don't know if the show was starring someone else that I'd care too much, but it's starring Joel so I'm going to go ahead and give it a go.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX Thursday 9pm/Sept. 17) I love these guys. I really don't know how I can explain to someone what this show is about without making it sound incredibly stupid. Maybe it is incredibly stupid, but it's also incredibly funny. The show is about a group of five, highly immoral people who do really stupid stuff all the time to try and benefit themselves. You know what, if you don't already watch the show or haven't heard of it, it probably isn't for you.

Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO Sunday 8pm/Sept. 20) "Curb Your Enthusiasm" ended last season with quite possibly the greatest two minutes in the history of television. Ok, I might be exaggerating but I've never been so shocked or thrilled at a cliff hanger (watch here. ) The past season dealt with the real life issue of Larry David divorcing his wife. While all of that is going on Larry is getting much closer with the Blacks, a black family of hurricane refugees that Larry takes in, most notably being Loretta played by Vivica Fox and Leon played by J.B. Smoove (my favorite Leon moment) The last season of "Curb" ended in November of 2007, so it's safe to say I'm ready for its return. Oh yeah, did I mention that this season deals with the fake reunion of "Seinfeld" with all of the cast guest starring?

Heroes (NBC Monday 7pm/Sept. 21) I feel like everyone, myself included, keeps hanging on to this show because the first season was so amazing. Everything after the first season hasn't been so great. This show has so many problems like too many characters, slow moving story lines and super powers that don't always follow their own rules. Last seasons finale we saw Nathan Petrelli die and his mother deciding to cover it up by tricking the evil Sylar, a shape shifter, to take on Nathan's form and continue to live his life for him. How that's going to pan out, I'm not sure, but I'll probably keep watching until the show gets cancelled holding onto hope it's going to get better. Plus, I think Peter Petrelli, played by Milo Ventigmilia is super hot.

Cougar Town (ABC Wednesday 8:30pm/Sept. 23) The only reason I will give this show a chance is because it stars Courtney Cox. I really don't have much else to say about it.

Flash Forward (ABC Thursday 7pm/Sept. 24) The premise of this show is that the whole world blacks out for 2 minutes and 17 seconds and gets a vision of their future. Some people want their vision to come true, others, not so much. It stars Sonya Walger (aka Penny Widmore from "Lost") and John Cho (aka Harold from "Harold and Kumar") along with a lot of people I've never heard of before. I don't know why, but the trailer has me intrigued, here's a preview. Apparently, I'm a big nerd and really like shows about time travel.

The Amazing Race (CBS Sunday 7pm/Sept. 27) The last season of "The Amazing Race," was the most exciting season of this show to date. It's the only reality competition show worth watching (ok, besides "Project Runway"). Last season we saw my favorites, Tammy and Victor, a brother and sister team win the show, but we can't forget the other memorable teams like Margie and Luke, the mom and deaf son (who was a total d-bag by the way) and my personal favorites gay writer/director Mike White and his gay dad, Mel. I hope that this season of show brings us just as many likable, strong teams as the last.

For a full list of Fall TV premieres head over to Watch With Kristin's calendar.

A few weeks ago a friend texted me asking if I had heard the rumors that Lady Gaga was a hermaphrodite. I guess knowing that I have a supreme knowledge of celebrity gossip he felt that I would have an explanation as to whether or not this was true. I hadn't actually heard the rumor so I did some googling and one of the results was a video revealing the Lady's man parts.



Apparently around the 1:00 mark people swear they can see something that resembles a penis. There was also a fake quote circling the internet with Gaga saying how she's not ashamed. It made me start to wonder if it really was true, why would she insist on wearing skin tight leotards and tiny dresses with no undies? It just seems if it were true she'd take a little more precaution to not flaunt it.

My response to my friend was that I was unsure of the truth, but that if anyone could pull off being a hermaphrodite it's Lady Gaga.

As it turns out Lady Gaga just now came out and addressed the rumors on an Australian radio show, where she's currently touring, saying, "My beautiful vagina is very offended. I'm not offended — my vagina is offended....I've sold four million records in six months. I'm not embarrassed about anything." And that the rumor was probably generated by "Society's reaction to a strong woman — the idea that we equate strength with a man and a penis as a symbol of male strength."

Fair enough. So what do you think? Is she all Lady? I think the rumor probably started because she's not the cookie-cutter pop star we're used to and isn't the most attractive person in the music biz. All I can say is that I love Gaga and think she's ridiculous in an awesome way even if she does have a disco stick....annnnnd that I'm 80% sure I want to be her for Halloween.

I am officially embarrassed.

Let me preface by saying that I don't get embarrassed often especially concerning the TV, music, books and the movies that I enjoy. I will openly admit that last year I went to Chicago to see the Spice Girls reunion concert, I TiVo episodes of "Lost" that air daily on the SyFy network, the only way I can fall asleep at night is popping in a "Friends" DVD, I've read every book in the "Shopaholic" series, I've seen the musical "Wicked" six times in four different cities and I own the movie, "Snakes on a Plane." I always have a hard time coming up with an answer when people ask questions like "What's the biggest guilty pleasure CD you own?" because I'm usually so open about the things I love and I don't feel guilty about any of it.

Until now.

It all started about a month ago when my best friend Lauren and I had the idea that we were going to watch the movie "Twilight" to see what all the fuss was about. We both read Perez Hilton daily and somedays all he can talk about is the filming of the "Twilight" movies which started to catch my interest. So we agreed to take the plunge and rent the movie from a RedBox (neither of us wanting to actually commit to adding the movie to our Netflix queue) and watched it. Neither of us were very impressed. I thought the dialogue was terrible and the acting not so great. I really wasn't seeing the progression of the main character Bella falling in love with a vampire after spending one day together. Yet, overall, I didn't dislike it and I certainly wasn't bored. I wasn't afraid to tell other friends that I watched the movie and told them that if I were 14 years old, I think i'd really like it.

Fast forward to last week when I was laid off from my job and days later wrecked my car. Needless to say, I had a lot of free time on my hands. All summer I've been reading books constantly and making frequent trips to the library. Ever since I watched the movie I've had an inkling to read the books, knowing there had to be more to this craze. I checked online and sure enough, the first book was available at my local library- and no other branches- it must be a sign, right? Next thing I know and about 6 1/2 reading hours later I finished the first book and became absolutely obsessed.

Then in a frenzy I start checking the libraries for the next book of the series. No luck. Then I realize I'm completely panicking. Thinking, "I have to know what happens next!!!" Some may be asking, "why don't you just go out and buy the book," and the reason is two fold....1. I'm extremely cheap and rarely buy any books. I only read books once and feel it's a waste of money and space. Luckily I have several well-stocked libraries close by and a best friend who reads as much as I do (and buys her books!). 2. By going to Borders to buy the book I would feel so ashamed taking the book to the register and having everyone who sees me holding the book peg me as "one of them." Plus, it also cements the fact that I have a problem and can't wait any longer to read this novel written for high school freshman.

The next best thing I could do to get my hands on "New Moon," was to borrow the book. I revealed my plight to my mom who laughed, yet told me her BFF's daughters have the books and that I could most likely borrow them. Next thing I know my mom, who goes on a nightly walk with said BFF, came home with "New Moon" in hand. I was thrilled and got down to business right away. Now here I am, a day and a half later, home on a Friday morning without the next book in the saga. I'm going crazy. Unfortunately for me, the rest of the world actually has lives and goes to school and work on fridays and I'm left here writing about my obsession instead of giving into it.

The thing about the books is not that I think it is excellent writing or that it is any way a plausible story but gosh darnit, it's a page turner! Stephenie Meyer knew what would suck people in and created novels full of drama and suspense that makes them extremely easy and fun to read. It's based on the whole "so wrong it's right" concept telling the story of a sexy vampire who has to practice extreme self control to keep from feasting on his mortal girlfriends blood. Sometimes it's nice to take a break from more challenging literature, especially considering the fact that lately I've been reading borrowed books from Lauren who is going through a faze of only reading memoirs written by the likes of drag queens, drug addicts and divorcee's. I've read a wide range of novels from Hemingway to Faulkner to Stephen King, I think I deserve to shake up the mix and read a romantic thriller about vampires, damnit!

Ok, so now I've told you my embarrassing story but don't expect to see me reading the books in public or seeing the new movie out in November.....I will of course save all my reading for the confines of my room and will see the movie on a weekday at a theatre far away from my house. And yes, I am watching the clock waiting for 4pm when I can borrow the next book. By the time you read this, I will most likely be finished with the series and will deny having ever read it at all.